If you’re thinking about quitting your job, congratulations! Merito Group has opportunities that can transform your career. This is a big decision and can be a difficult one to make. However, once you have decided to leave, your employer may try to convince you to stay. This is where things can get tricky.
It’s fair to say we have all been love-bombed before, but few consider that any kind of relationship is susceptible to this emotional tactic. As a valuable employee, your employer will not want to lose you, like how your last boyfriend/ girlfriend made promises amid the breakup, your employer might try to do the same. So, we’ll call this, “corporate love-bombing.”
Promise Of A Raise
We can compare this point to something we’re all familiar with, “I promise I’ll change, and I promise I’ll start helping you around the house more.”
One of the most common tactics employers use to keep employees from quitting is the promise of a raise. They might say something like, “If you stay, we’ll give you a big raise in six months.” This might sound tempting but be wary of this promise. If your employer really valued your work and wanted to keep you, they would have given you a raise already, just like your ex would have done the dishwasher and laundry if they had intended to make a change.
If you do decide to stay based on the promise of a raise, make sure you get it in writing. Ask for a written agreement that specifies the amount of the raise, when it will be given, and any other relevant details. This will help ensure that your employer follows through on their promise.
Big Plans For You
Another tactic employers use to keep employees from quitting is telling them they have big plans for their future. They might say something like, “We see a lot of potential in you and have big plans for your future here.” This can be flattering and make you feel valued, but it’s important to remember why you wanted to leave in the first place. If you were unhappy with your job or felt undervalued, hearing about big plans satisfies the need for recognition. It’s a human instinct to want validation and appreciation for what we do but ask yourself why it took you saying you were leaving to get that recognition.
It’s important to remember why you started looking for a new position. Before putting in your two weeks or letter of resignation, write down the pros and cons of staying at your old job.
If your employer does have specific plans for your future, again, ask them to put them in writing. Ask for a job description and any other relevant details. This will help you evaluate whether the plans are something you want to be a part of.
Feeling Guilty
Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt guilty about leaving? The “savior” complex is a common people-pleasing trait.
We think “I can help him get over his issues”, or “if she would just let me do this for her then she would be happy”. These “fixers” in romantic relationships are commonly victims of guilt-trapping, and this extends into a professional setting.
“We’re counting on you. If you leave, we’ll be in a tough spot.” This can be difficult to hear, especially if you’re someone who values loyalty. However, it’s important to remember that you don’t owe your employer anything beyond what is in your contract. Never decide, in business, or life based on guilt. It’s okay to be “selfish” when thinking about your future, career, and general happiness.
We spend a third of our lives working or an average of 90,000 hours. Choose your hours wisely. You should enjoy what you do, and if your job is a source of disruption, it is a positive thing to look for other opportunities.
If you do feel guilty about leaving, remember that you are not alone. Many people feel guilty about leaving a job, even if it’s for the best. Focus on why you wanted to leave in the first place and remember that you’re making the best decision for yourself. People-pleasers are going to struggle with this the most. Those more likely to fall into this trap should prepare by writing their pros and cons and speaking to friends and family about their decision before submitting their resignation letter.
Over-Explaining
Those with a guilt complex are also susceptible to over-explaining to minimize feelings of betrayal or rebuttal from their employer.
When you decide to quit your job, you do not have to explain your reasons in detail. It’s often best to keep it simple. You might say, “I’ve decided to move on to a new opportunity.” This is enough to convey your decision without going into too much detail.
If you do want to explain your reasons, keep it brief and to the point. Avoid getting into a lengthy conversation about why you are leaving.
If you’re quitting your job, be prepared for some pushback. Remember why you wanted to leave in the first place and focus on making the best decision for yourself. If you decide to stay based on future promises or plans, get everything in writing. And when you do quit, keep it simple and professional. Refer to a letter or resignation example to guide you through the process. Remember to put yourself first. Make your decision for your benefit, not your employer’s.